Beating Temptation by "Making Space"

"Between every stimulus and response, there's a space. Within this space, we have the capacity to choose our response." - Dr. Stephen Covey

Embarking on a lifestyle change is one of the most difficult decisions a person can make.  Uprooting years of ingrained habits and establishing new modes of behavior is trying for both body and mind.  However, it is important to remember that you are always in control of your actions--even if it sometimes feels as though your responses are on autopilot.  The decisions you make do not simply materialize out of the ether.  Those decisions are the result of the space between "stimulus and response:" that time, however short, in which you can commit to the life you truly desire. 

Like Pavlov's dogs, we all have conditioned behaviors.  The difference between us and the dogs is that we have programmed ourselves!  Maybe it is an impulse to eat junky food after a particularly bad day or curl up on the couch instead of going to the gym.  These impulses have been fostered over years, and when the impulse leads to behavior (i.e. you DO eat the junky food or watch TV instead of working out), the result can be extremely disappointing. 

However, all of your behaviors are ultimately just small decisions, decisions that can be consciously manipulated.  The trick is to create a life in which your decisions and desires are in sync. 

Define

What sort of person do you want to be?  Write down your goals and desires for the future.  Make these goals concrete and achievable.  For example, Malenna's current goal is to win a pro card in April.  Perhaps your goal could simply be to be competition ready by November.  If you are a bit more ambitious, your goal could be to place in competition by November. 

Decide

Once you have a concrete goal, map out the steps it will take for you to achieve the goal.  These steps should be realistic, but also challenging.  No true change is easy. 

Make sure to write these steps out as well, so that you have a tangible record of your decisions. 

Make Space

Once you have defined your goals and your plan to achieve those goals, the next step is to be conscious of your day to day behavior, especially in areas that are not conducive to your stated goals.  When a stimulus is presented, make sure to be aware of the "space" before you make your final decision. 

Most decisions work like this:

Stimulus --->  Space (this is where you make your decision) ---> Outcome

Be conscious of what you currently have conditioned yourself to do:

Cheetos (stimulus) --->  Buy Cheetos/Open bag (decision) ---> Eat all the Cheetos (outcome)

Instead, when you are faced with a tempting stimulus that goes against your goals and plans, concentrate on the space before the outcome.  Really think hard about your actions.  Take 10 to 30 seconds to remind yourself of the reasons you are undertaking a lifestyle change.  Then your actions will align with your pre-defined desires and your decision making process will go more like this:

Cheetos (stimulus) ---> Do not buy/Do not open bag (decision) ---> Stay true to your goals (outcome)

When you concentrate on making mindful decisions, an added bonus after the final outcome is a sense of pride and achievement.  Further down the road, your bonus will be the successful accomplishment of your goals!

What are your goals?

How can you "make space" to achieve them?

Let us know in the comments! 

(c) Alex Sidiropoulos 2012