Follow Sabrina to the WBFF Diva Bikini Stage

Picture Perfect...

I am both a perfectionist and extremely competitive.  Sometimes, this makes competing really difficult.  In a sport where there is no such thing as perfection and where winning is completely subjective it is really difficult for someone who strives for both to accept that neither is in your control.
My first show was this past July with the WBFF.  Every day for seven months leading up to the competition, I did everything perfectly.  I never skipped a workout, always ate exactly to hit my macros, drank at least 6 liters of water, and went to every posing session.   I told myself if I did everything perfectly and gave prep everything I had physically, mentally, and emotionally, I had to place top five. I had to walk away with something.

Show day came, and it was the most wonderful, exciting and exhilarating thing I had ever been a part of. Standing backstage, I was so proud of myself for what I had accomplished.  I knew that I had given this everything I had and left it all out on the stage. I worked my ass off and my entire life I had come to know that hard work = results.  The more work you put in, the more results you achieve.  I had worked so hard. I had to walk away with something.

They called out the names for top 5 and mine was not one of them. I remember walking off the stage feeling completely defeated, like the last seven months of killing myself to do this show had just come and gone and I was left with nothing to show for it.  My mom and my little sister had flown all the way from California to be there to support me. I wanted them to see me win. I had put this show before everything and everyone, and I wanted that to mean ...something.

What I didn't realize until a few weeks had passed, was that even though I didn't have a medal or trophy to show for my hard work, I had everything else to show for it.  In seven months, I had transformed into someone so strong, confident and sure of herself that I hardly recognized myself anymore. I had heard so many times from my amazing coaches and teammates that you should never do a show just to win, and while I didn't realize that's what I was doing, that's exactly what I was doing. No one's opinion of you should define you or cause you to question your worth, especially a panel of judges who define 'winners' by the size of their glutes or the caps of their shoulders.  A 'winner' does not necessarily always win - a winner is someone who goes out there and tries.  And then goes out there and tries even harder next time. Winners compete to better themselves, not be better than others.

So, I decided to get back on the horse and compete again, but this time with the mentality that win or lose, the outcome really doesn't matter. I'm already better than I was before, so as far as I'm concerned, I've already won.  There is a difference between posting ' It's YOU v YOU' and 'BE your best self' under your instagram pictures, and knowing that when you stop comparing yourself to other people and start only competing with yourself, there is no limit to how amazing you can be.

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When the party stops....

I started this journey because I knew that I was overweight and needed to start working out and eating right to lose weight. I decided to put the party girl on hold for a bit and started on a consistent workout program doing boot camps along with changing my eating habits and started to see progress and wanted to keep it up. I never knew about fitness competitions. Once I found out about them, it was something that I did not have any interest in doing.  One day, I asked myself what did I need to to push me to get into shape and live a healthy lifestyle and the solution that I came up with was to prepare for a fitness competition.

I have learned a lot on this journey. At one point, I wasn't comfortable using all of the equipment in the gym but this journey forced me to do what I needed to do in the gym which has now made me super comfortable using all the equipment.  I've learned what works for me nutrition wise, what doesn't and how hard I can push myself in the gym.  How and when to listen to my body and when my mind is telling me yes but my BODY is telling me no. The journey has mentally strengthened me.  I have leaned self control on a different level.  This journey has also been a bit hard health wise since I have type 1 diabetes.  Finding that balance with working out so often, having a limited diet and maintaining stable blood sugar levels has run into some challenges.  I've encountered more than enough hypoglycemic episodes trying to maintain the balance. Through the challenges though, I am still here fighting through to the end.  I am happy that this journey is nearing its' end. I look forward to walking the stage this weekend.

Follow Shelley as she makes her WBFF Diva Fit Model Debut!!!

Circle of Life...

Spring 2010 and my junior year at Johnson & Wales University in Providence, RI.  My team of four just received our direct work experience project from our professor.  We would be doing a consultant project for Kevin Topka and his gym, Body Language Spoken.  When my group and I were researching Kevin, we were shocked that he was a professional bodybuilder, and put on these "body building competitions".  We pulled up to his gym a few days later and saw all these huge muscle men trophies in the windows.  I remember joking that he would probably break my hand when he shook it.  I mean come on, this guy is huge!  We worked with Kevin for a few months, built relationships,presented our work to him, and then the trimester was over.  When I returned to Providence, after my summer abroad trip, I noticed I gained a lot of weight.  Nervously, I reached out to Kevin to see if we could meet.  Right away, he put me on a 21 day cleanse and taught me the ins and outs of clean eating and living a healthy lifestyle.  On that day, I weighed in at 166lbs and 32.59% body fat.  I couldn't believe it. I was considered obese.  It was time to change my life around.

November 2010, after training with Kevin all summer he asked if I could help work behind the scenes at his annual Body Language Natural Physique Association New England Championship Show. I absolutely said yes.  I honestly thought all these girls were going to look like 'men' but I was wrong. Watching those girls on stage in their sparkling bikinis, tanned skin, toned ( but not super bulging) muscles.  I was stunned.  I wanted to do that.  I mean, they did it. Why couldn't I?  Long story short, there was no way I could fit comp prep into my routine. I was a full time senior in college working two part time jobs, and president of my sorority.  I used to study on the elliptical just to get a workout in.  However, the thought of competing never left my head.

Fast forward four years later, I'm working  in NYC with a full time job at Alternative Investments.  I managed to make it to the gym to lift 3-4 times a week and meal prep, even though I was utterly exhausted from work.  I was still trying to follow the healthy lifestyle habits I had learned just a few years prior.  I followed so many fitness competitors on social media still with the thought in the back of my mind that I wanted to be on stage one day too.  Before I knew it, business picked up and the hours got longer.  The only way to get the work done was to skip the gym.  Soon enough, I was working 10-12 hour days on a regular basis, eating out every day, binge drinking, and being a couch potato on the weekends because I was too tired to do anything else.  The stress was REAL.  I was utterly miserable, depressed and felt disgusted every time I looked in the mirror.  I promised myself that when 2015 started I would do what it took to become a better me.

In the beginning of 2015, I switched jobs, still in the same field, but with half the stress as before.  I finally had free time again.  I slowly got myself back into a gym routine, but something was missing. I knew I needed help to get me where I wanted to be fitness wise, and possibly get on stage.  One Saturday morning, I was at SWERVE, a spin class in Manhattan with a colleague, and ran into an old college friend, Lauren Lelli, who happened to be a WBFF pro.  She told me about her competition experience, her team, (The Elite Heat) and her amazing coach, Malenna Saunders.  I contacted Malenna right away, because this seemed to be the part of my life I was missing. Within a few weeks I was on the Heat 9 crew with my fellow fit sisters training throughout the summer.

Competition prep was rough, both physically and mentally.  Physically, I was excited to be in the weight room.  I enjoy pushing myself, and watching the amount of weight I could lift increase each week.  The heavier I lifted, the more gains I would have.  Who doesn't love the gains?  At the same time, it is tiring pushing your body that much. Mentally, I didn't realize who would actually be there to support me. When I completely switched up my lifestyle and was restricted on doing the same things as others, I began to see people's true colors.  Some friendships were lost, but others were gained in this incredible journey.  I felt that a majority of my prep was a mind game as well as a self-reflection.  It took a lot of will power to say no to food and alcohol.  Also, I had to constantly remind myself that I am doing this for me, and no one else.

Time is almost here until I make my first appearance on the WBFF New England stage and I could not be more excited.  After five years of having this dream goal in the back of my head, it is finally about to become a reality.  I am beyond grateful and appreciative of everyone who has been there for me throughout this journey.  Words cannot express how much your support means. Thank you! Cheers to meal prep Sundays, Costco trips, team sprints, lifting sessions, fasted cardio, ab circuits, pull ups, day dreaming about pumpkin spice everything, photo shoots, posing practices...Countless memories to last a lifetime.

No matter your situation, always remember to KEEP GRINDING!  Someone you don't even know is rooting for you, while someone you know isn't.