Follow Natasha as she makes her WBFF DIVA BIKINI debut!!

The Bucket List....

In March 2016, I attended carnival in Trinidad. That was the first time I didn’t want to take a full length picture of myself because I was not pleased with how my body looked.  Now 2016 was also the year in which I was turning 40. I had set out in my mind that I was going to compose a list of 40 things to accomplish in 2016 to celebrate this milestone birthday.  One of those things was getting fit and being healthy. A dear friend took me to one of Malenna’s interest meetings and instantly I knew I wanted to get fit and healthy with her assistance.  One thing she did say was ‘I’m going to get you to compete.” My response was “Whatever.  I’m just here to get fit & healthy.”  Over the next few years it was a struggle and I found my weight & my drive to continue my journey waxed & waned.


Last April, I attended the Fitness Atlantic show and I sat in that audience looking at all those contestants on stage.   I turned to my friend & said ‘I’m competing next year.’  I ran up to Malenna and told her the news.  She put me on her calendar and the rest is history!!!!  This has been no easy journey but getting closer to the finish line, I can say it has been worth it!  The things that I will carry through beyond this journey are the importance of self-care and discipline.  I have put in the work, blood, lots of sweat and oh yes some tears so Fitness Atlantic here I come!!!

Follow Roz as she makes her WBFF TRANSFORMATION debut!!

I Want to Live..Giving up is not an Option.

My name is Rosalind E.Tillery. I was born in U.S. Naval Hospital in Queens NY. I was raised in Brooklyn, NY and within Petersburg, VA.   
I am one of 4 siblings the only girl with 3 brothers. Both of my parents are deceased.   My mother died in my arms and was my true inspiration. 

In 2014,  I was approached by a co-worker and friend about  Phoenyxfitness.  This is where I met my coach and trainer, Malenna. My good friend noticed my disposition after the loss of my mother and got me off the couch.  I began working out 2x’s a week with PhoenyxFitness and taking Zumba classes. During the winter I kept getting sick & having knee issues especially going up the train station stairs. I stopped working out. I frequently stayed in contact with Malenna. 
I gained a lot of weight because I wasn't eating right, or taking care of myself. My conditions persisted and my blood pressure escalated.   

On 1/2/2015 I retired after 40 yrs of service  with the  Federal Government.  I finally decided to get complete control over my life.  I joined Y-Fit at the YMCA , Coach by Mr. D.A. & Zero Hour X trainer Mr. E.T working out 6-7 days a week. I realized I needed more of a physical challenge. 


One day while watching television I saw Ernestine Shepherd, a professional bodybuilder that is 83 years old.  She became my inspiration. 

Late 2017, I attended a PhoenyxFitness meeting. The discussion was about competing in the WBFF Fitness Show.  The doubt immediately set in. I am too old. I cannot compete against the younger ladies. What about the elasticity of my skin. Will I be able to transform. 

No matter the circumstances or obstacles I may have or face in my everyday living,  I must learn and understand what it means to attack and focus.   It  begins with a healthy mind and healthy body. 
I also realized I want to live and age gracefully. 

I decided to take the challenge. I was inspired to change my fitness profile and life which consisting of intense weight training, intense cardio, nutrition and food  preparation. I registered for The WBFF Fitness show being held on Saturday, 4/13/19 Transformation Division at the Mohegan Sun with Fitness Atlantic.  

This is the 2nd best decision I made in my life. The first one was giving birth to  a now adult young man who also helped train me along this journey.

The grind is real. I began training diligently.   It took me a while to master the food prep and discipline. During my process I have to pray and tell myself you are stronger than you think. Have I cried? Yes. Have I vented Yes? Have I ever wanted to throw in the towel?  Yes. 
I will admit there’s nothing like having a support system. A coach, a trainer, a mentor, your team members etc . I appreciate the listening ear and positive advice.  

Presently,  I am 95% mindful of  what I put into my body. Why I am not 100% is because I am not perfect. 

Since 1/2018 to the present I have lost 26lbs. I have lost inches.  I feel better inside and out.  I still have a long way to go such as toning. I have a life style change for the better. I hope and pray that my bio gives whoever reads it courage. 

Take the challenge. Take charge of your life.  Love yourself, Exercise, Develop positive thinking, Focus on your goals, Eliminate non essentials, seek support & nutrition. 

My motto: “I want to live”  I told my doctors I only want to see you for my annual exams.   By the way, I thank God Blood pressure is now stable under medication, and knees issues - I can climb stairs in train station, and use Stair-master & Treadmill. 

Finally, I am dedicated, and disciplined to embrace a new fitness life style. 
Overall goals to enhance my appearance and strive to be prepared for potential opportunities in T.V. Movies, and Multimedia, and  Fashion Style Athletic Apparels. 
Giving up is not an option - Water is now my best friend😂😂😂😂😂

Follow Tiffany as she makes her Diva Fitness Debut!!!

This time it was for me....

As a coach, you interview different people for programs and pick up on whether you feel a person is coachable, able to attain the goals they have for themselves, and most importantly, if they will follow through. I remember meeting Tiffany and after her interview thinking most people with her history either do really well, or really poorly.  As a coach, we also take a guess at what we think that outcome to be, because we have to decide whether we want to move forward with a program with the athlete...If it's worth the time. I figured she would make it through, I just didn't imagine the strength and growth I would witness in her in such a short amount of time. Now we stand...her first fitness show tomorrow and a progress picture to die for.  Help us in congratulating Ms Tiffany Vazquez on her Diva Fitness and Bikini debut.

When asked what was her why....

I have always been into fitness off and on my entire life, but this time around it was different for me. At the time I was in a real toxic place in my life, where I was suffering from stress, anxiety and depression. I knew I needed to change my whole entire surroundings and remove negativity from my circle. I wanted to get back to me and being comfortable in my own skin. I used to bounce around the idea of competing to others but, I was quickly shot down. Till one day I went to a competition show to see my closest friend compete. I saw how hard she worked and how beautiful she looked and honestly that gave me the drive to tell myself if she can do it so can I. 

But This training and prep has been more than that to me. It has been a healing process and recovery for me. Each day that passes I get stronger not only physically but mentally as well. It taught me self worth, discipline and never give up on yourself. You are stronger than you think. 

The plus of this entire prep was the amazing new people I met. I’ve never meet such strong, beautiful and ambitious ladies. They helped my temendously and I would not be here or doing this without their help. I feel so happy and humbled to be doing my 1st show at Atlantic Fitness and doing it with my true friends and supporters. One thing I been tell myself all the time is : 

I am my own competition, I’m competing with myself. 

Be better than you were yesterday. 

Ashley Johnson makes her Pro Debut in Atlantic City!

                                           


In July of 2016, I sat before my computer writing about a new athlete aspiring to grace the fitness stage for their debut. This athlete, a sibling of a previous competitor from our team, had expectations to fill as her sister had acquired her pro card just one year prior.  In July of 2016, this same athlete competed in a WBFF show in NYC placing second in both Diva Fit Model and Diva Bikini. She also managed to win her pro card in Diva Bikini. Before the night was even over, and before she even realized her placings, she exclaimed, " I want to do this again!"

When I have athletes choose to compete more than once, I always ask them what is their motivation to compete again.  Especially after you win.  It is a rigorous process, you have no personal calendar and it can take up a majority of your life. People who do it, do not usually have a crew of people to do it with, and you can feel super lonley. Why do it?

You would think it would be easier the next time around, but on so many levels, it's actually much more difficult. It may not happen the same the second as it did the first. You may be a little less patient for the result. You may have different reactions to food.  Your metabolism may have changed. And on the pro level, you are also competing against a different platform of athletes. Athletes who have been in the game longer, built up muscle longer, and taken possibly years to perfect their physique. It's definitely not easier and we're so proud to present Ashley Johnson to the stage a second time, as a bikini pro. Just as she had when she took the stage the first time, it wasn't about the placing but the accomplishment and bringing a package that was better this time than the first time.

With just one day left, we look forward to seeing the outcome of Ashley's second show but , again, debut on the PRO stage in Atlantic City, December 2nd. Help us in congratulating Ashley as she takes on the best of the best this weekend

Follow Massiel as she makes her WBFF Diva Fit Model Debut!

Let me begin at the top. I stumbled into my current career unintentionally. Being a personal trainer was never in my "what do you want to be when you grow up?" List. I started pursuing fitness because I was overly stressed. When I realized I needed to make a change I was 24 years old. At such a young age I was completely out of shape, couldn't fit into my clothes and it all happened suddenly. It's like I was in my body but felt like it wasn't my body. I was so unhappy with my bachelors in business, stressed at my job as an administrator and with so many changes happening in my life during that year I began suffering from anxiety. The weight room became my therapy. My dedication began producing the physical results that I wanted and before I knew it I was guiding my friends into getting fit, got my certification and fast forward, I am about to make my debut as a Fitness Diva with the WBFF.
When I decided that I wanted to be a trainer, It didn't cross my mind to compete I just had the heart to help people learn to be healthy and fit and to do it because they loved their bodies, not because they hated them.My cousin Suehade, who is a PRO for the same federation was who inspired me and believed in me enough for me to muster the courage and take on this challenge.

The reason why I decided to compete is because after working out and after my experience in the gym for 3 years now, I wanted a new challenge. Sometimes personal trainers have this idea that they can figure it all out on their own and contrary to that I wanted to learn something new and to be guided professionally with accountability. I wanted to undergo this process for beyond physical reasons. Only people who have suffered from anxiety understand the intensity of the feeling and know that it takes a LOT of mental strength to be able to control and overcome an anxiety attack. I got into fitness not only to build my body but also to build my mind and so that's why I felt it was the right time for me to undergo the process of preparing for a competition. I understood that if I wanted to grow as a person I needed to continuously learn and to continuously be challenged and I am so satisfied with this prep because that is exactly what it has done for me!

I have been able to discover a strength in me both mentally and physically that I never thought I had within. No other process would have been able to teach me what I have learned about myself like this one.
This has been the most rigorous, yet most rewarding period of time in my life. I have not stepped on stage yet but I am content because no matter what happens I know I am stronger,  and I am better than when I first began. I have learned to channel a new level of focus towards a goal regardless of my circumstance and all the havoc going on in my surrounding. My faith, passion and consistency has reached new levels and although these things are intangible, they are the greatest possessions!

WBFF Fit Model and Bikini Competitor Jasmine

Normally, the write ups are submitted from the athlete's perspective. Since this athlete posted from a previous show, we are doing something different and presenting from the coach's angle.

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.' -- The Lion King

COACH's CORNER

When I was choosing pictures for this write up, the above picture was EVERYTHING, but let me start from the beginning. 

Jas joined the team 2 years ago, almost exactly. At 22, she was the youngest on our team and if her energy and spunky attitude didn't tell you that, the fact that she hails at a towering 5 feet tall didn't help.  Working with her initially was a different challenge. Most of the ladies were older, already working professionals, some married so priorities SLIGHTLY different than a young, fresh out of college sorority girl. We had to put things like parties, alcohol and junk food on the back burner. Jas has always had an amazing support system so with the help of her mother (food preparer), father (motivator) and sister (voice of reason) she pulled things together and in the fall of the same year, competed in her first show, WBFF Rhode Island. Placing top 5 in her first, show, she did really well coming out of the blocks.

Second show quickly approached the following summer, WBFF NY 2015. She graced the stage with 6 other ladies from the team and took a stab at the Fit Model category.  She didn't have a placement in this show, and I knew she was disappointed, but she was determined to hit the stage again. She had her sister's wedding to prepare for later that year, and financially, as well as mentally wanted to be in the right mindset so decided to wait until at least spring of 2016. At the end of 2015, we revisited the conversation and moved forward with a fresh mindset but also an accountability change. How the stage isn't owned by your competition, but by you. How you need to bring your BEST no matter who shows up because THAT is the only thing within your control. How WINNING is about your mentality, and perception. Not the judgement of 5-7 strangers sitting at a long table in front of you.

 

FAST forward to the first picture. The GIRL I met 2 years ago has grown to the WOMAN pictured above. Focused, dedicated, hard working, determined, relentless,..unbroken. It's one thing to try something. You don't always win, and you don't always get what you want. The winners get up, and try again and again, knowing that the outcome isn't as important as getting better. 

Jasmine has continued to bring a better package each time to the stage...July 30th is no exception. Check out her updates on IG @jleeabreu and visit www.wbffshows.com for ticket info if you are in the area!!

Follow Dani as she makes her WBFF Diva Fit Model Debut!

Reflections of a Competitor...

I have always been a competitor. As far back as I can remember, I have always loved a challenge.  It is motivation for me.  My parents always encouraged me and my siblings to push and rise to a challenge. As an athlete, fast pitch softball was my sport of choice from 7^th grade through college and that satisfied my need for competition. In college, I chose to study nutrition as I have always had an interest in health, and wellness. One of my professors made a comment one day in class that impacted me.  She said, “No one would take a Nutritionist seriously if they don’t look the part. Your appearance is your biggest marketing tool in this field. Do you look like what you teach?” No matter how shallow that may have come across to some, and feelings it may have hurt in class that day…It stuck with me and I have always striven to find ways to “maintain my marketer”. Not solely for business purposes, but so my clients would listen and be open to what recommendations I had to offer to help them.

After college, I tried various types of activities to challenge me. I stayed in the gym, looked into various sports leagues and fun ways to keep me active and eventually taught pole fitness classes. Once in my career as a maternal and child health nutritionist, life took over. Life happened, stress increased and metabolism decreased.   I saw changes in my body that I have always prided for ”looking the same way in clothes as it did out of them”.  Up to this point, I never really had an issue with my weight or eating well, and took extra liberties with food because of it.  The truth is, clothes can hide a lot. I felt weighed down. While others thought I looked good, I hold myself to my own standard, a critical one…and I was not happy with what I saw. 

In 2008, my friend Ron invited me down to Trinidad and Tobago for Carnival.  It opened my eyes to this amazing celebration of life, energy and beauty.  Bikini’s and Beads….which is NOT what Carnival is all about, but a segment of costumes that I adore. They allow me to feel sexy, free and confident.  These are areas that have for some time made me anxious.  Since discovering Carnival, it has been my annual therapy. An extra benefit is that it pushes me to stay fit because when carnival comes around, you want to fit into whatever costume you choose. Which, will most likely be smaller and skimpier than the one you wore the previous year.  It forces you to be comfortable in your skin…something I have not always been.

I was introduced to my sorority sister and coach Malenna by my friend Sharilyn who had competed previously and was treating her Carnival 2015 preparation as a competition prep.  What an excellent idea!  I began to work with Malenna through online coaching and saw changes in my body I had not seen in years of working with personal trainer’s standing right next to me.  During this time, I branched out as a Nutrition Consultant with NutriDS, LLC, got a website and began to ponder ways to market myself outside of maternal and child health.  While following Malenna’s program I started playing with the idea of competing due to another friend’s encouragement. Gabbie had also competed and looked amazing. After Carnival I decided to go for it.

  I attended my first fitness competition, Fitness Atlantic in 2015 to get an idea of what to expect.  My stomach was in knots watching these women of various ages and from different walks of life that had prepared for differing lengths of time, strut with confidence across this stage, opening themselves up to judgement on their appearance. It takes a lot of nerve and every one of them deserve applause!  When I saw Malenna’s team “The Elite Heat” on stage, their ease and confidence just stood out.  2 of the team members won their pro-cards that night.  I was sold.

I did not know what I was in for….definitely under estimated the toughness of this task.  This journey has been full of highs and lows, self-doubt, lots of faith, tears, frustration, breakthroughs, breakdowns, cravings, boring meals, research, observation, comparisons, shaky moments, lots of sweat, LOTS of laundry, compliments/criticisms, patience, get off your ass-ness (lol) and learning to “Trust the Process”. I am proud that even in my weakest moments, I was able to keep my corny sense of humor. 

Choices that supported my goals had to be made on a daily basis. Prepping meals multiple times a week to not be swayed at work by doughnuts, chips, pizza, etc.  I chose to miss out on social events where I knew I would be tempted to eat and drink things that would not help achieve my goal.  That is not to say that I did not fall short at times.  Being located in Connecticut, I drove at least 4 hours a weekend for this.

Surprisingly, the hardest part to swallow has been opinions. I was told before I began to listen to your coach.  Everyone is going to have something to say, different philosophies, different ideas of what you should look like, but you have to stay the course.  THAT WAS THE TRUTH and it caused for a lot of frustrating days for me.  Days I would stare at myself in the mirror.  You have no idea what your body will do or how it will react to things. What works for some, may not work for all.  It is a lot of trial and error.  Working in a health care setting, I was looking at and counseling on Body Mass Index’s (BMI) and Body Fat charts on a daily basis.  I was forced to throw the idea of that out the window because in this sport, NO ONE CARES. Those numbers means NOTHING on the stage. What matters is the package you present.  As much as I teach “the scale is the devil” and not to allow what it says to weigh so heavy on your shoulders, it took a long time for me to walk that talk.  Acceptance of this has helped improved my counseling and my clients love me for it.  There was so much I did not understand as Sports Nutrition is a different monster than Maternal and Child Nutrition, that I even took a Sports Nutrition course.  It helped my sanity.

As I approach my debut as a WBFF Fit Model competitor, I’m excited, nervous, proud and stronger mentally than when I began this journey.  Competing requires sacrifice and is a team effort. I couldn’t have done this alone. I thank you all for your support, encouragement and a listening ear when all I could talk about was competing.

As challenging as it has been, I have learned so much about myself and I am already proud of me.  I feel like I have done what many others have opinions about but will never do. As I approach my 40’s,  I am the fittest I have been since my 20’s.

 

Thank you to my family, LPTS, Shorblu, Malenna and The Elite Heat, Crystal Marcus and YUMA AND my support system near and far!

It’s me against me.  I’m ready for the stage!

Follow Sabrina to the WBFF Diva Bikini Stage

Picture Perfect...

I am both a perfectionist and extremely competitive.  Sometimes, this makes competing really difficult.  In a sport where there is no such thing as perfection and where winning is completely subjective it is really difficult for someone who strives for both to accept that neither is in your control.
My first show was this past July with the WBFF.  Every day for seven months leading up to the competition, I did everything perfectly.  I never skipped a workout, always ate exactly to hit my macros, drank at least 6 liters of water, and went to every posing session.   I told myself if I did everything perfectly and gave prep everything I had physically, mentally, and emotionally, I had to place top five. I had to walk away with something.

Show day came, and it was the most wonderful, exciting and exhilarating thing I had ever been a part of. Standing backstage, I was so proud of myself for what I had accomplished.  I knew that I had given this everything I had and left it all out on the stage. I worked my ass off and my entire life I had come to know that hard work = results.  The more work you put in, the more results you achieve.  I had worked so hard. I had to walk away with something.

They called out the names for top 5 and mine was not one of them. I remember walking off the stage feeling completely defeated, like the last seven months of killing myself to do this show had just come and gone and I was left with nothing to show for it.  My mom and my little sister had flown all the way from California to be there to support me. I wanted them to see me win. I had put this show before everything and everyone, and I wanted that to mean ...something.

What I didn't realize until a few weeks had passed, was that even though I didn't have a medal or trophy to show for my hard work, I had everything else to show for it.  In seven months, I had transformed into someone so strong, confident and sure of herself that I hardly recognized myself anymore. I had heard so many times from my amazing coaches and teammates that you should never do a show just to win, and while I didn't realize that's what I was doing, that's exactly what I was doing. No one's opinion of you should define you or cause you to question your worth, especially a panel of judges who define 'winners' by the size of their glutes or the caps of their shoulders.  A 'winner' does not necessarily always win - a winner is someone who goes out there and tries.  And then goes out there and tries even harder next time. Winners compete to better themselves, not be better than others.

So, I decided to get back on the horse and compete again, but this time with the mentality that win or lose, the outcome really doesn't matter. I'm already better than I was before, so as far as I'm concerned, I've already won.  There is a difference between posting ' It's YOU v YOU' and 'BE your best self' under your instagram pictures, and knowing that when you stop comparing yourself to other people and start only competing with yourself, there is no limit to how amazing you can be.

Follow Tanisha as she makes her WBFF Transformation Debut!

When the party stops....

I started this journey because I knew that I was overweight and needed to start working out and eating right to lose weight. I decided to put the party girl on hold for a bit and started on a consistent workout program doing boot camps along with changing my eating habits and started to see progress and wanted to keep it up. I never knew about fitness competitions. Once I found out about them, it was something that I did not have any interest in doing.  One day, I asked myself what did I need to to push me to get into shape and live a healthy lifestyle and the solution that I came up with was to prepare for a fitness competition.

I have learned a lot on this journey. At one point, I wasn't comfortable using all of the equipment in the gym but this journey forced me to do what I needed to do in the gym which has now made me super comfortable using all the equipment.  I've learned what works for me nutrition wise, what doesn't and how hard I can push myself in the gym.  How and when to listen to my body and when my mind is telling me yes but my BODY is telling me no. The journey has mentally strengthened me.  I have leaned self control on a different level.  This journey has also been a bit hard health wise since I have type 1 diabetes.  Finding that balance with working out so often, having a limited diet and maintaining stable blood sugar levels has run into some challenges.  I've encountered more than enough hypoglycemic episodes trying to maintain the balance. Through the challenges though, I am still here fighting through to the end.  I am happy that this journey is nearing its' end. I look forward to walking the stage this weekend.

Follow Jasmine as she makes her WBFF Diva Fit Model Debut!!!

With Love, Dignity and Pride

In just two days, I will be stepping on the WBFF stage for the second time in 8 months.  Throughout this entire prep all I an think is, what in the world was I thinking doing this again?!?! But here I am.  There is just something about the sport that makes you want to see just how far you can go.  To see just how much your body can take and how much better you can make yourself inside and out.  The idea of being able to do something the average person couldn't even fathom, and successfully too, excites me.  Unless you have been on this side, no one will ever understand the discipline it takes.  The physical pain and shock you put your body through on a daily basis, and more importantly, the mental games it can sometimes play with your mind is ...well mind blowing.  The moment I step off stage, I know all that hard work has paid off.  I again, accomplished something the average person couldn't. I went up there a better version of myself and no matter the outcome, I couldn't be more proud.  Now, I can finally be reminded as to why I'm doing this again.

Eight months ago, I competed in WBFF Rhode Island as a bikini competitor.  I took 5th place in a class of around 20-30 incredibly fit females and was in utter disbelief.  I expected to jut go up there, look good, and have a great time.  I came off that stage with so much more.  That moment was hands down, one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  This year, I am competing in the fit model division at WBFF NYC where the women are a bit leaner and a bit more muscular.  Even with all the incredible competition I'll be facing, I am excited.  This is exactly where I want to be in terms of how I would like my body to progress.  Always being very petite, I am sure that I will be going on stage a little smaller than the rest of the women, and still, that doesn't bother me one bit.  Knowing that I'll be going up there better, stronger, and leaner than last time is all I need

My support, just like before is amazing, especially from my family.  My mother's been a life saver this entire prep. With working crazy hours and trying to find time to train, even if it has to be at midnight, she preps all my meals for me and makes sure I'm all ready for every single day.  Without her, there is no doubt I would have crashed and burned as soon as I started. My father asks me to see my progress almost as much as my coach does, and trust me, sugar coating anything is not an option for him.  My sister, who was literally my backbone the first time I competed has taken a small step back which I appreciate so much.  It's given me a sense of responsibility and leadership.  I used to drag her everywhere with me from my workouts to picking which suit I should buy.  She's showed me that I am able to do this on my own, but being one call away when I need her.  My younger brother doesn't have much to say about it, but the moment I mentioned the tickets for the show, he didn't hesitate one bit to ask how much and when can he buy one.  Lastly, my boyfriend has been a major part in my success, more than he will ever know.  He is a competitor in NPC and understands what I go through more than anyone.  He keeps me in check with my food, my workouts, and motivates me every single day.  Words wouldn't be able to explain how thankful I am to have him by my side.  My family has forever been a backbone and will always continue to be.  Everyday I thank God that he's blessed me with such an amazing boyfriend and amazing parents and siblings.  I am one of the lucky ones.

I never want to use the word easy because nothing at all about this was easy, so I'll use the word smooth.  The second time around went a bit smoother for me. This time, I knew a little bit more about what to expect and what I was getting myself into.  I was prepared.  My discipline was better than last time and my attitude is also.  That's what it's all about.  Being better than the last time.  In a few days, I am going to step on stage for the second time, MUCH better than the last time.  And still with all the blood, sweat and tears put into this.  All the sore body parts, the sleepless nights, social seclusion, the countless dollars and endless work, I can almost guarantee, this next time you see me on that stage, will not be the last time.

Follow Daphne as she makes her WBFF Fitness Diva Model Debut!!!

Continuing the Journey to Learn, Grow, and INSPIRE....

Here I go again.  This Saturday, I will be on stage competing with the WBFF Show in NYC!!  Preparing for this competition was nothing like the first time around.

In April 2014, my goal was to face my fear of getting on stage in a bikini.  I couldn't tell you how afraid I was with just the thought, let alone actually going through with it.  But none the less, it turned out to be one of the best moments in my life.  I had such a great experience prepping for my first show.  I just made up my mind that the only thing I was going to do was to have fun and showcase my hard work.  Ad that's exactly what happened.  I had the time of my life.  Still nervous as hell, but I had a blast. I promised myself to live in every moment and appreciate it, instead of thinking about the 'competition' aspect of the show. 

That evening, I placed second in Diva Bikini Masters. I was so proud of myself and happy that I was able to do something that made my daughter proud of me.  She was one of the biggest motivations.  As parents, we sometimes look for moments for our children to do things to make us look good. I think it should be the opposite.  As parents, we should constantly work on ourselves and have our children feel proud of us.  They will learn to understand what it takes to motivate and inspire themselves and others.  

With that being said, after I placed second, I couldn't wait to prepare for my next competition and see if I can 'bring a better package to the stage' as a competitor would say.  But after binging on not so clean food, I ended up looking like I did when I had prepped before my first comp.  I was so disappointed in myself and had my first setback.  I started doubting whether or not I could even do this. When I finally found the motivation to 'go hard' in the gym again, I pushed too hard and my left arm went numb.  I pusched hard with the wrong mindset and wrong motivation.  I pushed with anger, anxiety and pressure that I believed people placed on me.  The 'people' aka the voices of insecurities started creeping in.  Mine said ' You placed second. Everyone will expect you to place first'  ' People are expecting you to get your pro card.

I was no longer having fund and couldn't remember why I was even doing this anymore.  Am I doing this because I am trying to prove something? What and to who? Am I doing this because my coach worked so hard to get me to this point and I don't want to let her down? Am I doing this because I received so much praise the first time and I need it to feel good about myself? Am I doing this because this is the one thing that brought me sanity when I fell into a depression in 2013 and it filled a void? What void am I trying to fill instead of dealing with it?

After my left arm went numb, I lost mobility in my hand. My next setback. 6-8 weeks of both physical and occupational therapy 3x a week. WTF!!!  I thought to myself, I am done. This is not gonna happen. And it didn't.  I was unable to compete in WBFF Rhode Island that November.  The first WBFF show I went to  the year before, that made me decide to compete.  And now I can't be a part of that. I was pissed off and again found myself angry.

During the weeks of PT and OT, it gave me time to reset and re evaluate what I'm doing and why.  And boy was that process ugly.  Not only  did my insecurities come out, but this time I was backing them up with excuses. Are you ready for my excuses?

This industry is for the young sexy Latina girl and the blue eyed blond girl.  I have no business competing.  That same year, my teammate, Courtney Allen won her pro card and later that year, WBFF Pro Fleur Yvette won in the Championships in Montreal.  Two beautiful black women with amazing physiques.  The Universe, God, whatever or whomever you chose to believe in got in my face and told me to STFU.  You either want it or you don't.  You are either going to work for it or you're not.  Stop bullshitting. Stop hiding and most importantly stop making excuses.  Check yourself! And I did.

I love the stage. I love working out and I love competing. We all want the prize at the end. I would be lying to you if I said I didn't care about that.  But I win regardless.  Because through ALL my insecurities, setbacks and hardships, I had an amazing coach, teammates, friends and family who carried me through this process and continue to be there for me.  I will NEVER forget that.  I am truly honored to be on the Elite Heat team. I am grateful for my family and friends.  There's nothing in the world that can replace the lessons I've learned while pushing my way through comp prep.  The new relationships Ive built on this team and the closer bonds I formed with my family especially my daughter.

I've shared my struggles and obstacles with my 8 year old daughter. I know that, although she is fearless now, one day she will find out about her shortcomings, will make mistakes and go trough hardships. I am ready to show her how to fight and work through them.  And I get to do it with one of the things I truly love to do with the right positive mindset; working out, competing and most importantly inspiring people to go after their goals in life no matter what.

What do I want out of this? To pay it forward. Give back the way this process has been rewarded to me. I want to give myself and help a person in need the way Ashley McCormack has done for me. I want to be that breath of fresh air, motivation and inspiration at the perfect time, the way Courtney Allen was for me. I want to be the person you can say what ever to me without judgement or restrictions when angry, the way Joanne Cajuste was for me. I want to change lives the way my coach and now my dear friend has changed my life.

I want to be my daughter's role model and show her that no matter what stage you are on in life, you can achieve the impossible by NEVER giving up.

Everyone has a moment and a time to shine and inspire someone...Saturday will be my moment and time.

Follow Jennifer as she makes her WBFF Diva Fitness Model Debut!!!

(Wo)Man in the Mirror.....

My name is Jennifer Castillo. I am 23 years old, and I will be competing for the first time on July 11th.  My reason for competing is deeper than just wanting to look pretty on stage and showing off my muscles.  Its about a journey on building self confidence and finding happiness within myself.  For many years, I was self conscious about how I looked because I believed I didn't have an attractive feminine body.  I would always tell myself I looked like a 12 year old boy with no behind and a man chest. Because of that, I considered myself to be ugly.  My own negative thoughts were eating me alive.  Now I have learned that is is not how you look that makes you beautiful but how you feel about yourself on the inside.  Fitness brought me the confidence I needed to believe in myself not just because working out kept my body in shape but the happiness it gave me.  Everyday, I look forward to going to the gym and challenging my body and everyday I surprise myself on what my body is capable of doing.  In the back of my mind, I always thought of the idea of wanting to compete but I've always been such a shy person.  I couldn't imagine myself walking across a state in front of hundreds of people.  It wasn't until I met former Elite Heat member Laura, who introduced me to the Elite Heat and the world of beauty and fitness.  I saw all the amazing pictures of her transformation throughout here competition years and it truly inspired me.  I thought to myself, if she can do it, then why can't I.




On July 11th, I will no longer be this shy girl who's self conscious about herself. Instead, I will be a strong confident woman showing everyone how happy I am to be in my own skin.