Reflections of a Competitor...
I have always been a competitor. As far back as I can
remember, I have always loved a challenge.
It is motivation for me. My
parents always encouraged me and my siblings to push and rise to a challenge.
As an athlete, fast pitch softball was my sport of choice from 7th
grade through college and that satisfied my need for competition. In college, I
chose to study nutrition as I have always had an interest in health, and
wellness. One of my professors made a comment one day in class that impacted
me. She said, “No one would take a
Nutritionist seriously if they don’t look the part. Your appearance is your
biggest marketing tool in this field. Do you look like what you teach?” No
matter how shallow that may have come across to some, and feelings it may have
hurt in class that day…It stuck with me and I have always striven to find ways
to “maintain my marketer”. Not solely for business purposes, but so my clients
would listen and be open to what recommendations I had to offer to help them.
After college, I tried various types of activities to
challenge me. I stayed in the gym, looked into various sports leagues and fun
ways to keep me active and eventually taught pole fitness classes. Once in my
career as a maternal and child health nutritionist, life took over. Life
happened, stress increased and metabolism decreased. I saw changes in my body that I have always prided for
”looking the same way in clothes as it did out of them”. Up to this point, I never really had an issue
with my weight or eating well, and took extra liberties with food because of
it. The truth is, clothes can hide a lot.
I felt weighed down. While others thought I looked good, I hold myself to my
own standard, a critical one…and I was not happy with what I saw.
In 2008, my friend Ron invited me down to Trinidad and
Tobago for Carnival. It opened my eyes
to this amazing celebration of life, energy and beauty. Bikini’s and Beads….which is NOT what Carnival
is all about, but a segment of costumes that I adore. They allow me to feel
sexy, free and confident. These are
areas that have for some time made me anxious. Since discovering Carnival, it has been my
annual therapy. An extra benefit is that it pushes me to stay fit because when
carnival comes around, you want to fit into whatever costume you choose. Which,
will most likely be smaller and skimpier than the one you wore the previous
year. It forces you to be comfortable in
your skin…something I have not always been.
I was introduced to my sorority sister and coach Malenna by my friend Sharilyn who had competed previously and was treating her Carnival 2015 preparation as a competition prep. What an excellent idea! I began to work with Malenna through online coaching and saw changes in my body I had not seen in years of working with personal trainer’s standing right next to me. During this time, I branched out as a Nutrition Consultant with NutriDS, LLC, got a website and began to ponder ways to market myself outside of maternal and child health. While following Malenna’s program I started playing with the idea of competing due to another friend’s encouragement. Gabbie had also competed and looked amazing. After Carnival I decided to go for it.
I was introduced to my sorority sister and coach Malenna by my friend Sharilyn who had competed previously and was treating her Carnival 2015 preparation as a competition prep. What an excellent idea! I began to work with Malenna through online coaching and saw changes in my body I had not seen in years of working with personal trainer’s standing right next to me. During this time, I branched out as a Nutrition Consultant with NutriDS, LLC, got a website and began to ponder ways to market myself outside of maternal and child health. While following Malenna’s program I started playing with the idea of competing due to another friend’s encouragement. Gabbie had also competed and looked amazing. After Carnival I decided to go for it.
I attended my first
fitness competition, Fitness Atlantic in 2015 to get an idea of what to
expect. My stomach was in knots watching
these women of various ages and from different walks of life that had prepared
for differing lengths of time, strut with confidence across this stage, opening
themselves up to judgement on their appearance. It takes a lot of nerve and
every one of them deserve applause! When
I saw Malenna’s team “The Elite Heat” on stage, their ease and confidence just
stood out. 2 of the team members won
their pro-cards that night. I was sold.
I did not know what I was in for….definitely under estimated
the toughness of this task. This journey
has been full of highs and lows, self-doubt, lots of faith, tears, frustration,
breakthroughs, breakdowns, cravings, boring meals, research, observation, comparisons,
shaky moments, lots of sweat, LOTS of laundry, compliments/criticisms,
patience, get off your ass-ness (lol) and learning to “Trust the Process”. I am
proud that even in my weakest moments, I was able to keep my corny sense of
humor.
Choices that supported my goals had to be made on a daily
basis. Prepping meals multiple times a week to not be swayed at work by
doughnuts, chips, pizza, etc. I chose to
miss out on social events where I knew I would be tempted to eat and drink
things that would not help achieve my goal.
That is not to say that I did not fall short at times. Being located in Connecticut, I drove at
least 4 hours a weekend for this.
Surprisingly, the hardest part to swallow has been opinions.
I was told before I began to listen to your coach. Everyone is going to have something to say,
different philosophies, different ideas of what you should look like, but you
have to stay the course. THAT WAS THE
TRUTH and it caused for a lot of frustrating days for me. Days I would stare at myself in the mirror. You have no idea what your body will do or how
it will react to things. What works for some, may not work for all. It is a lot of trial and error. Working in a health care setting, I was
looking at and counseling on Body Mass Index’s (BMI) and Body Fat charts on a
daily basis. I was forced to throw the
idea of that out the window because in this sport, NO ONE CARES. Those numbers
means NOTHING on the stage. What matters is the package you present. As much as I teach “the scale is the devil”
and not to allow what it says to weigh so heavy on your shoulders, it took a
long time for me to walk that talk. Acceptance of this has helped improved my
counseling and my clients love me for it.
There was so much I did not understand as Sports Nutrition is a
different monster than Maternal and Child Nutrition, that I even took a Sports
Nutrition course. It helped my sanity.
As I approach my debut as a WBFF Fit Model competitor, I’m
excited, nervous, proud and stronger mentally than when I began this
journey. Competing requires sacrifice
and is a team effort. I couldn’t have done this alone. I thank you all for your
support, encouragement and a listening ear when all I could talk about was
competing.
As challenging as it has been, I have learned so much about myself
and I am already proud of me. I feel
like I have done what many others have opinions about but will never do. As I
approach my 40’s, I am the fittest I
have been since my 20’s.
Thank you to my family, LPTS, Shorblu, Malenna and The Elite
Heat, Crystal Marcus and YUMA AND my support system near and far!
It’s me against me. I’m
ready for the stage!
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