There are so many reasons and it has been such a long Journey but here it goes....
As a person who has always been overweight and so insecure about it, this seemed like a longshot. Even when my body started to change after educating myself on food/nutrition and worked very hard towards competing, I still didn't quite believe I could do it. One day on my way to a posing class, I sneezed and hit the ground crying in excruciating pain on the train. Shortly there-after I was diagnosed with Chiari-malformation and told I needed to have brain surgery to correct a fluid mass that had built up in my spine because of it. I was told that if I didn't get the procedure immediately I could become paralyzed. The doctors were amazed that I was still standing. Only after surgery did I learn that the mass was much worse and life-threatening. I was told that I could not train as much as I wanted and I couldn't lift more than 30lbs. That's when I decided, that competing wouldn't just be a dream, but a reality and I was going to push with all my might to make this happen despite MAJOR concerns from my doctors but ESPECIALLY my family.
After surgery, my Mom, Grandma, and Partner not only helped me through recovery but showed me the meaning of unconditional love. They cared for me day in and day out. To this day I get emotional thinking about how much their love lifted me. Recovery was so hard, and depression was always looming over me. There's no cure for my condition, so all that there is left to do is manage the frequent and painful symptoms the best I can. That hurt me because I hated feeling "limited". I refused to be limited. One night, I just prayed for Grace for God to just stick with me while I continued, and I promised I would.
My why...
To spread awareness and give hope to people with Chiari Malformation and other invisible illnesses that affect so many on the daily. To prove to myself that I am capable, as I have honestly never completed or worked so hard for ANYTHING in my life. But I mostly want to show my family that all their love and support brought me here. Brought me through depression/recovery, ignited a spark, and revealed a strength (and a woman) I never knew existed. This is for them. To make them proud and show them through love, grace and FAMILY anything is possible.
