Follow Kelly as she makes her WBFF DIVA BIKINI Debut!

Time to get UNcomfortable....

" Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." Neale Donald Walsch

This is the year for me to do things “out of my comfort level” 

You see, I was always an athlete growing up even after graduating from school.  I played on many volleyball, softball and soccer recreational teams, just to keep me in that competitive mindset.  My weight or being in shape was never an issue.  Fast forward to careers, marriage, and kids... I think women tend to care for others more than they take care of themselves.  I personally, put myself on the backburner and didn’t focus so much on doing what’s right for me, in reference to my health. 

I was training for my first WBFF competition about 5 years ago until my son suffered from a TBI.  In that moment my world stopped because I had to attend to all his medical and educational needs.  I’m happy to report he’s doing a lot better now and felt it was time to push myself, out of my comfort level and try to start training for a fitness competition.  I attended the “Fitness Atlantic” show last year and knew at that time, I wanted to pursue this dream of mine.. to get up on stage.  The glitz and glamour and general comradery of all the competitors was contagious.  I thought what a perfect way to showcase all your hard work in the end.  “The Elite Heat Girls” stood out in that show and knew I needed to make contact with their coach to be a part of that energy.  I had made contact through “Bricks” and the rest was history. 

Early on in my training, I developed a knee injury.  I had a partial tear to my meniscus but pushed through that injury in order to meet my fitness goals.  The results took me a litle longer because a lot of my fitness workouts had to be modified, but that never stopped me.    I trained with purpose and conviction.  I had a long-term goal in mind and nothing was going to stop me.  Once I started to really see my body transform and “finally” see that scale move downwards, it gave me the extra motivation to continue when my family's schedule could have gotten in the way, like in years past.  I keep going and keep seeing more and more results and started to really feel great; probably the best I’ve felt in a while.    

It’s not being selfish, taking time for yourself.  I think some people have that wrong.  It’s important especially the older we get to really take care of your health and make sure it’s aligned properly.  Another thing I found I did during this prep was to keep my mind right.  I practiced mediation on a daily basis and found this really grounded me and gave me peace during times I felt things could have spiraled in another direction.  Prepping for a show in your late 40’s was a challenge to say the least.  I fit in workouts before and after work and even in between my son’s sports practice.  I look back at it now and wonder “how the heck” did I actually keep up with that schedule, as long as it did. 

I have found if you really want something bad enough, nothing will stop you.  I’ve started to take back my health and pushed it to another level and can’t wait to see what else is in store, because this is just the beginning.  I’ve been told many times during this year’s prep that I have inspired certain people to start working out again while, others have followed my journey just to support me which I have greatly appreciated.  Their words of encouragement and support have given me the drive especially, during those 430am workout wake up calls. 

I wanted to acknowledge the women on my team.  They are like-minded career-focused women, that I have the privilege to say, are my friends now.  It has been nice to be able to go through this prep and be able to vent to someone that will understand what we are going through because, let’s face it some people didn’t get why we were doing this show to begin with.  I want to thank each and every one of you and the support and laughs we have shared.  Remember, ladies we got this and always will!!! 

Finally, I wanted to acknowledge my kids.  They have seen me go through this prep and cheered me along every step of the way.   I’m proud of myself because of example I have given them of what hard work really looks like.  I have always shared that kind of advice with them in the past, but they have never seen from the beginning to end a true scenario of that playing out for them.  They know now that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to, as long as they have drive, motivation and conviction.

Wish me luck as I step on stage for the first time next weekend!  Anything is possible as long as you manifest it, it will happen….

Follow Gabrielle as she makes her WBFF TRANSFORMATION Debut

Why did I decide to compete:

There are so many reasons and it has been such a long Journey but here it goes.... 

 

As a person who has always been overweight and so insecure about it, this seemed like a longshot. Even when my body started to change after educating myself on food/nutrition and worked very hard towards competing, I still didn't quite believe I could do it. One day on my way to a posing class, I sneezed and hit the ground crying in excruciating pain on the train. Shortly there-after I was diagnosed with Chiari-malformation and told I needed to have brain surgery to correct a fluid mass that had built up in my spine because of it. I was told that if I didn't get the procedure immediately I could become paralyzed.  The doctors were amazed that I was still standing. Only after surgery did I learn that the mass was much worse and life-threatening. I was told that I could not train as much as I wanted and  I couldn't lift more than 30lbs. That's when I decided, that competing wouldn't just be a dream, but a reality and I was going to push with all my might to make this happen despite MAJOR concerns from my doctors but ESPECIALLY my family. 

After surgery, my Mom, Grandma, and Partner not only helped me through recovery but showed me the meaning of unconditional love. They cared for me day in and day out. To this day I get emotional thinking about how much their love lifted me. Recovery was so hard, and depression was always looming over me. There's no cure for my condition, so all that there is left to do is manage the frequent and painful symptoms the best I can.  That hurt me because I hated feeling "limited".  I refused to be limited. One night, I  just prayed for Grace for God to just stick with me while I continued, and I promised I would. 

My why... 

To spread awareness and give hope to people with Chiari Malformation and other invisible illnesses that affect so many on the daily. To prove to myself that I am capable, as I have honestly never completed or worked so hard for ANYTHING in my life. But I mostly want to show my family that all their love and support brought me here. Brought me through depression/recovery, ignited a spark, and revealed a strength (and a woman) I never knew existed. This is for them. To make them proud and show them through love, grace and FAMILY anything is possible.

Follow Kim as she makes her Diva Fitness Debut!!

A Journey Come Full Circle

Kim's journey with Phoenyx began as a private, online client looking to get into better shape for carnival in Trinidad.  The first time I met Kim in person was the WBFF Fitness Atlantic show in 2016.  A mutual friend and client was competing in the show that year.  She may have mentioned then that she was possibly interested in taking on the stage at some point in the future. I have many people that say that to me, but those words do not always translate to participating in a program and actually going through prep.  

She reached out again though, expressing an interest and we got the ball rolling last year.  It's not easy going from an online program to COMPETITION PREP.  These two things are not even in the same realm of preparation, but Kim was diligent with her program and determined to do it right. One year later, we are just hours away from the same show and stage that Kim witnessed 2 years ago for the first time.  This time, this stage is hers. We are so excited to showcase Kimberly Ashley in her diva bikini debut!!

My Why....I’m 41 years old and have always been into fitness. In college I was on the crew team for 4 years and was captain my senior year. When I returned home from college, I continued to exercise regularly but it wasn’t the same.  I missed the competitiveness. My exercise habits started to not be consistent and because of that my weight was up and down. When I first decided to participate in a bikini competition, it was more of a “bucket list” type of fulfillment.  But as I was going through the process of comp prep, it became much more. I’ve had to confront my weakness (which were hard for me to accept). Consistency has always been a challenge. But in order to be successful in this journey, consistency HAD to happen.  I also saw that I was stronger than I thought I was. There have been days where I felt sorry for myself and that  I’ve wanted to cry and just give up. But I’m so happy that I decided to push through. I’m a nurse practitioner and I work with patients that have advanced heart failure. I want to set an example for my patients.  I want them to know that I understand that maintaining a healthy diet and regularly exercising is hard.  But I’m right there with them.

To Prep or not to Prep.

 The Second Time Around...

If you recently got to read my last post on this blog, you have an idea of how much fitness means to me and how much I enjoy challenging myself. Well, the decision for going forward with this prep was no different.

I was very blessed to have gotten second place in my last show, it being my first competition, I know most people would feel beyond happy. It was a little different for me. I was content, but not satisfied. At first I was on the fence about doing this again. I was enjoying my time off for a few weeks, however, the thought of trying harder to do better than last time continued circling in my head and although I had a lot going on in my personal life, I knew I could never forgive myself and I would regret it if I didn’t go for it.

My close friend Tiffany also decided to compete in this show and I felt a sense of weight on my shoulders to be as supportive as I can. I previously told her I would prep with her and I didn’t want to go back on my word. I prepped alone during my last competition and I know how difficult it can be. Doing this prep with Kim and Tiff has made it so much easier in the sense of the fellowship, having the same topic to speak about, group chats to complain, coordinate group workouts, and motivate and support each other.

I thought that because I JUST came out of a prep, I knew what was was ahead so it would be more of a breeze; I was wrong. I had a new set of hurdles to face and instead of being afraid, I decided to take courage and allow myself to grow through these new challenges.

I was facing new challenges in my personal life, at my job and physically with my body fat being more resilient and also being treated for a back injury during this process, but this only became the reason that fueled me to push through and use my faith to move these mountains and continue inspiring anyone to not use the excuse of letting difficult situations be the reason to not go after what you want.

It is scary to think, “what if I get worse than second place” but at the end of this, I can say I am truly satisfied because through this process I have already beat that girl that won second place. I’m mentally and emotionally stronger than I was last time and if my whole process serves as just an ounce of motivation for anyone facing a similar issue, then all this hard work is absolutely valid.

Follow Ashley as she makes her WBFF Debut

From Foodie to Fitness....

I started on this competition journey because I was tired of always telling myself I can’t do something because of this and that. I was tired of all the excuses I came up with. Always doubting myself, thinking negatively, having fears about whatever popped up in my crazy head. What introduced me to do one was my sister's competition. Tiffany competed last year at the WBFF Fitness Atlantic show. When I watched her go through this grueling process and saw the final result, I was so inspired. I couldn’t believe how she and all these girls on stage went through this and actually survived! That night my sister ended up winning first place in her division and received her pro card. I was so proud of her because I witnessed all she had to endure and how much she worked at it. I was truly moved by her hard work and how it all paid off in the end!

But even after I saw my sister compete I still wasn’t really sold. I knew what to expect because I saw her go through it. I saw all the foods she couldn’t have at the end of it and how much time she had to put in at the gym.  I thought I could never do this because I love food way too much. Anyone that knows me knows my love for food! But then something changed and I wanted something more. I was tired of the excuses I gave myself. I wanted to challenge myself in every way possible and I knew competing would do that. My sister was the first one to tell me I could do this. I was shocked at how confident in me she was. I talked with her about it and told her my worries mainly about the food I know I wouldn't be able to have. But then she said, it's not like you won't ever have the foods you love ever again. And I realized she was right. It would only be for a period of time where I couldn't have what I wanted. Right then I knew I wanted to compete not only to see myself physically change but also to see my mentality change. I needed to do this to prove to myself that I could. To be able to shut up all the negative things I kept telling myself. From there, I went to an Elite Heat Comp prep workshop and learned everything I needed to know. I told Tiffany’s coach, Malenna I was ready to compete and the rest is history.

Doing this competition was never about me winning against someone else. It has always been about winning against myself.  When I get on stage, I don’t care about what the other competitors, judges, family, friends, coaches think of me. The only thing that matters that day is what I think of myself. That day is for me to realize how much hard work I put into this, waking up at 5:00 AM to do fasted cardio knowing I am not a morning person, lifting after work, spending hours in the kitchen making meals for the week, eating the same bland meals every day, not being able to eat foods that I enjoy, all the social events I couldn’t attend, staying in the gym for 3-4 hours to get all my workouts in. It was about all the challenges I dealt with on a day to day basis that tested my discipline and dedication with how badly I wanted to do this. I wanted more than anything to be better than the person I was before.

This journey has not only made me a better person but it also gave me confidence about myself that I needed. Comp prep was everything I expected and more. It did exactly what I wanted it to do. It has challenged me in every way possible from the food to the workouts. I look at what I have accomplished and what I have learned about myself through this process and it truly amazes me. I learned that if I want something bad enough I will do anything to get it. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I am disciplined, have the drive and focus to accomplish whatever I want in life. It has made me a more confident person and believer in myself. I couldn’t be prouder of the person I am becoming!

The one thing that will always stay with me is what I have been telling myself from the beginning of this journey is I am my only competition when I am on stage and even more so when I am off. Nothing can stop me from what I want to accomplish but me! So, in my eyes, I am already a winner no matter the outcome because I did everything I said I couldn’t do and more. That to me is priceless and worth more than first place. I am so happy and grateful I decided to do this and can’t wait to make my debut on stage!! 

Follow Hecthan as he makes his WBFF Debut!!!

The Road to Perfection

This has been a long bumpy road to get here. I say this because of all the obstacles I had to adapt to and overcome. Skipping drinks at social gatherings, to eating prepped food (which I thank my wife for her huge help) and eating totally differently. Recovering from nasal surgery, and doing double shifts in law enforcement and still making time to lift at the gym is NOT easy.

It all comes down to how badly you want it.  There will never be enough time in the day.You just have to make it happen. So with the motivation and support of my wife, whom gave me idea to try it out, I decided to take the challenge, and push my body further.  As I stated before, I had to make the time. So my days of Muay Thai/Cardio, lifting , eating and work....FOCUS and PROGRESS leads to PERFECTION

WBFF Diva Bikini Competitor Kiya!!

Better than Before

The date of the WBFF NYC show is a benchmark for me in many ways.  Not only is it my second show with WBFF but July 11th, 2014 marked the last day at a company I loved and believed I would build a long career.  At that time, I was devastated that a decision had been made for me about my career and its' future.  I thought what would be next after taking a risk and trying something new.  I accepted my fate, even though I thought I didn't have a plan on my next steps.



I refocused my energy on myself and set out on a mission of self discovery, happiness, and balance.  I figured I couldn't fail if I took a risk on myself at the end of this journey. I leaped off the edge and found myself stronger, more confident and able to tackle any obstacle in front of me.  A year of self discovery, hard work, and perseverance has gotten me where I am today. It's not easy being judged on anything you do.  I know from my experiences, that if you put the work into yourself, no one can ever take that away from you.  I am here and in less than 2 days, I will hopefully take home a win not only for me but for my team, the Elite Heat.  With each challenge over the last year, I've grown exponentially, more than I could have ever imagined.  It's time to celebrate!! Nothing will stop me now.

Follow Jasmine as she makes her WBFF Diva Fit Model Debut!!!

With Love, Dignity and Pride

In just two days, I will be stepping on the WBFF stage for the second time in 8 months.  Throughout this entire prep all I an think is, what in the world was I thinking doing this again?!?! But here I am.  There is just something about the sport that makes you want to see just how far you can go.  To see just how much your body can take and how much better you can make yourself inside and out.  The idea of being able to do something the average person couldn't even fathom, and successfully too, excites me.  Unless you have been on this side, no one will ever understand the discipline it takes.  The physical pain and shock you put your body through on a daily basis, and more importantly, the mental games it can sometimes play with your mind is ...well mind blowing.  The moment I step off stage, I know all that hard work has paid off.  I again, accomplished something the average person couldn't. I went up there a better version of myself and no matter the outcome, I couldn't be more proud.  Now, I can finally be reminded as to why I'm doing this again.

Eight months ago, I competed in WBFF Rhode Island as a bikini competitor.  I took 5th place in a class of around 20-30 incredibly fit females and was in utter disbelief.  I expected to jut go up there, look good, and have a great time.  I came off that stage with so much more.  That moment was hands down, one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  This year, I am competing in the fit model division at WBFF NYC where the women are a bit leaner and a bit more muscular.  Even with all the incredible competition I'll be facing, I am excited.  This is exactly where I want to be in terms of how I would like my body to progress.  Always being very petite, I am sure that I will be going on stage a little smaller than the rest of the women, and still, that doesn't bother me one bit.  Knowing that I'll be going up there better, stronger, and leaner than last time is all I need

My support, just like before is amazing, especially from my family.  My mother's been a life saver this entire prep. With working crazy hours and trying to find time to train, even if it has to be at midnight, she preps all my meals for me and makes sure I'm all ready for every single day.  Without her, there is no doubt I would have crashed and burned as soon as I started. My father asks me to see my progress almost as much as my coach does, and trust me, sugar coating anything is not an option for him.  My sister, who was literally my backbone the first time I competed has taken a small step back which I appreciate so much.  It's given me a sense of responsibility and leadership.  I used to drag her everywhere with me from my workouts to picking which suit I should buy.  She's showed me that I am able to do this on my own, but being one call away when I need her.  My younger brother doesn't have much to say about it, but the moment I mentioned the tickets for the show, he didn't hesitate one bit to ask how much and when can he buy one.  Lastly, my boyfriend has been a major part in my success, more than he will ever know.  He is a competitor in NPC and understands what I go through more than anyone.  He keeps me in check with my food, my workouts, and motivates me every single day.  Words wouldn't be able to explain how thankful I am to have him by my side.  My family has forever been a backbone and will always continue to be.  Everyday I thank God that he's blessed me with such an amazing boyfriend and amazing parents and siblings.  I am one of the lucky ones.

I never want to use the word easy because nothing at all about this was easy, so I'll use the word smooth.  The second time around went a bit smoother for me. This time, I knew a little bit more about what to expect and what I was getting myself into.  I was prepared.  My discipline was better than last time and my attitude is also.  That's what it's all about.  Being better than the last time.  In a few days, I am going to step on stage for the second time, MUCH better than the last time.  And still with all the blood, sweat and tears put into this.  All the sore body parts, the sleepless nights, social seclusion, the countless dollars and endless work, I can almost guarantee, this next time you see me on that stage, will not be the last time.

Follow Daphne as she makes her WBFF Fitness Diva Model Debut!!!

Continuing the Journey to Learn, Grow, and INSPIRE....

Here I go again.  This Saturday, I will be on stage competing with the WBFF Show in NYC!!  Preparing for this competition was nothing like the first time around.

In April 2014, my goal was to face my fear of getting on stage in a bikini.  I couldn't tell you how afraid I was with just the thought, let alone actually going through with it.  But none the less, it turned out to be one of the best moments in my life.  I had such a great experience prepping for my first show.  I just made up my mind that the only thing I was going to do was to have fun and showcase my hard work.  Ad that's exactly what happened.  I had the time of my life.  Still nervous as hell, but I had a blast. I promised myself to live in every moment and appreciate it, instead of thinking about the 'competition' aspect of the show. 

That evening, I placed second in Diva Bikini Masters. I was so proud of myself and happy that I was able to do something that made my daughter proud of me.  She was one of the biggest motivations.  As parents, we sometimes look for moments for our children to do things to make us look good. I think it should be the opposite.  As parents, we should constantly work on ourselves and have our children feel proud of us.  They will learn to understand what it takes to motivate and inspire themselves and others.  

With that being said, after I placed second, I couldn't wait to prepare for my next competition and see if I can 'bring a better package to the stage' as a competitor would say.  But after binging on not so clean food, I ended up looking like I did when I had prepped before my first comp.  I was so disappointed in myself and had my first setback.  I started doubting whether or not I could even do this. When I finally found the motivation to 'go hard' in the gym again, I pushed too hard and my left arm went numb.  I pusched hard with the wrong mindset and wrong motivation.  I pushed with anger, anxiety and pressure that I believed people placed on me.  The 'people' aka the voices of insecurities started creeping in.  Mine said ' You placed second. Everyone will expect you to place first'  ' People are expecting you to get your pro card.

I was no longer having fund and couldn't remember why I was even doing this anymore.  Am I doing this because I am trying to prove something? What and to who? Am I doing this because my coach worked so hard to get me to this point and I don't want to let her down? Am I doing this because I received so much praise the first time and I need it to feel good about myself? Am I doing this because this is the one thing that brought me sanity when I fell into a depression in 2013 and it filled a void? What void am I trying to fill instead of dealing with it?

After my left arm went numb, I lost mobility in my hand. My next setback. 6-8 weeks of both physical and occupational therapy 3x a week. WTF!!!  I thought to myself, I am done. This is not gonna happen. And it didn't.  I was unable to compete in WBFF Rhode Island that November.  The first WBFF show I went to  the year before, that made me decide to compete.  And now I can't be a part of that. I was pissed off and again found myself angry.

During the weeks of PT and OT, it gave me time to reset and re evaluate what I'm doing and why.  And boy was that process ugly.  Not only  did my insecurities come out, but this time I was backing them up with excuses. Are you ready for my excuses?

This industry is for the young sexy Latina girl and the blue eyed blond girl.  I have no business competing.  That same year, my teammate, Courtney Allen won her pro card and later that year, WBFF Pro Fleur Yvette won in the Championships in Montreal.  Two beautiful black women with amazing physiques.  The Universe, God, whatever or whomever you chose to believe in got in my face and told me to STFU.  You either want it or you don't.  You are either going to work for it or you're not.  Stop bullshitting. Stop hiding and most importantly stop making excuses.  Check yourself! And I did.

I love the stage. I love working out and I love competing. We all want the prize at the end. I would be lying to you if I said I didn't care about that.  But I win regardless.  Because through ALL my insecurities, setbacks and hardships, I had an amazing coach, teammates, friends and family who carried me through this process and continue to be there for me.  I will NEVER forget that.  I am truly honored to be on the Elite Heat team. I am grateful for my family and friends.  There's nothing in the world that can replace the lessons I've learned while pushing my way through comp prep.  The new relationships Ive built on this team and the closer bonds I formed with my family especially my daughter.

I've shared my struggles and obstacles with my 8 year old daughter. I know that, although she is fearless now, one day she will find out about her shortcomings, will make mistakes and go trough hardships. I am ready to show her how to fight and work through them.  And I get to do it with one of the things I truly love to do with the right positive mindset; working out, competing and most importantly inspiring people to go after their goals in life no matter what.

What do I want out of this? To pay it forward. Give back the way this process has been rewarded to me. I want to give myself and help a person in need the way Ashley McCormack has done for me. I want to be that breath of fresh air, motivation and inspiration at the perfect time, the way Courtney Allen was for me. I want to be the person you can say what ever to me without judgement or restrictions when angry, the way Joanne Cajuste was for me. I want to change lives the way my coach and now my dear friend has changed my life.

I want to be my daughter's role model and show her that no matter what stage you are on in life, you can achieve the impossible by NEVER giving up.

Everyone has a moment and a time to shine and inspire someone...Saturday will be my moment and time.

Follow Sabrina as she makes her WBFF Diva Bikini Debut!!

The grass is not always greener...

For me, the journey to stepping on stage has been emotionally trans formative as it has been physically.

Growing up I was criticized constantly for being too skinny.  People would make comments about it relentlessly - "Ugh, you're SO skinny", "Go eat a cheeseburger","Easy for you to say, you're skinny!"  As many comments as the people made about wanting to be skinny, I began hating myself for it, and became extremely self -conscious of how long and lean I was.

Everyone is met with obstacles in life, and I was faced with a few that really knocked me down and kept me down for a while.  But after each one I pressed forward stronger and learned to grow from each challenge I was faced with. The problem was that as much as I had accomplished and as much adversity as I had overcome, inside I still felt like that skinny self- conscious little girl I had always been.  I couldn't shake her.  

For me, there is something that translates from physical strength into being able to feel confident in all other areas of your life. The first time I stepped into the weight room at the gym, I had not idea what I was doing. I just anted to get in shape for summer.  What it turned into was something so much greater than I had ever imagined.  The more work I put in at the gym to becoming physically stronger, the more my emotional strength befitted. 

After a while, I started asking myself "what next" - I loved the changes I was seeing in my mind and body and loved that every day I was becoming a better version of myself than the day before.  With that in mind, I decided I wanted to start competing and joined the Elite Heat to surround myself with like minded women searching for the same things I was.

One thing I know for sure is that this competition is not the end of my journey; it's the very beginning. When you are on a mission to be the very best you can be, there's no tellin where your drive will take you.

Follow Jennifer as she makes her WBFF Diva Fitness Model Debut!!!

The world is my stage..... 

My fitness journey has been just that - a journey.  A journey filled with self doubt and fear.  I've been struggling to lose weight my entire adult life.  I'm a confident girl, but I've never been able to look in the mirror and feel confident about my body.  I would look at the other girls and friends and think , " I wish I had that small waist or tight stomach", but in truth wouldn't stick to a diet long enough to have it. I am an aspiring actress and at the end of the day, the last thought I want to have when I don't book a role is ' Is it because of the way I look?'  My weight has fluctuated over the years but never to a point where I felt like it was my best.  This is where I had it wrong.  I needed to worry less about my weight and more about my lifestyle.  I had to ask myself what does it take to have the body I want.  Well, for starters it takes a lifestyle, not a quick fix diet that will put me back in the same position once it was over.  In the past, I've had personal trainer, worked out 5-6 days a week but I learned all that was useless unless I decided to change the way I eat.

2013 I decided to give it another go.  I was looking for a personal trainer in which I could feel comfortable with and who would motivate me to push myself.   I met Malenna Jan 2013, and shortly learned that she was just what I needed and more.  Although, she had been consistent in doing her part, I was not.  I still wasn't giving it 100 percent.  IT'S HARD. VERY HARD. Food makes me happy.  I needed something sweet everyday to fulfill my cravings.  I started slowly winging myself off tings such as pastas, breads, and alcohol.  After about 6 months of training with her, she started telling me more about her team and about competing.  I wasn't really listening because I didn't think someone like me had the will power to get onstage to compete in a fitness competition.  I didn't think I could be determined enough to say not to my cocktails, bagels, cakes, cookies, and so forth.  Actually, I didn't want to. But how could I get the body I wanted if I wasn't willing to make sacrifices? Well I couldn't.  I would ask her questions and even started searching online for what it took to compete but I stayed quiet for so long about it because i as afraid of saying it out loud. Me compete?  Yeah right.

About 3 months ago, I still wasn't making the progress I wanted to make so I told Malenna that I thought I wanted to compete.  Without hesitation, she said, " Okay. I know you can do it"  She has had so much confidence in me from the beginning and it's because of her confidence and faith in me, that I am doing this. I knew at the end of the day, if I set a goal to compete in a fitness competition, that I would do my absolute hardest because I didn't want to be the 'big girl' onstage next to all the other sexy athletes.

Here I am eleven weeks later and I have to honestly admit that it's been probably the hardest experience of my life.  I struggled the entire time and my biggest one was saying no to sweets.  Sugar is really addictive.  Yes, I failed at time. No I didn't devour cakes and cookies like I used to. The most important thing is I really gave it all I got.  This has definitely been a learning experience.  Do I have the body I always imagined?  No, I don't but I do have the best body I have ever had in my life. I am still earning and struggling.  This isn't the end for me.  In fact, I wanted to compete to make a new beginning for myself.  I wanted to learn self control and discipline so that I could input that in other ares of my life as well.  If I want the body of my dreams. I have to control what I put into it - bottom line.  I've lost more than 20 pounds, and will continue to get better from here.  After this show is over, I will take time to reflect on my mistakes and work hard to get better.  This isnt' over and I'm looking forward to living a git and healthy lifestyle.