Follow Daphne as she makes her WBFF Diva Bikini Debut

His Death Ignited My Vision...

I never really struggled with weight until after getting married and giving birth to my beautiful baby.  I guess with the balancing act of having a career in the financial world,coupled with being a wife and mom, it finally took its' toll on me.  Not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. After several years of what seemed like an out of control, undisciplined lifestyle, I knew I needed to do something and get my life in order.  I chose to start with my weight. I couldn't believe how much weight I gained and I started to hide who I knew I was behind it.  A person who was once confident, believing she could achieve whatever her heart desired was feeling insecure, ashamed, embarrassed and ugly.  I started going to the gym and I was losing weight, but I as what you called ' skinny fat'.  You know, when you look great in clothes, but once the clothes came off, everything else falls out along with it.  

I could not figure it out.  I was no stranger to the gym.  When I was 21, I went to the gym all the time and in three weeks, I was in shape again.  I was going to the gym for about a year and still left with a gut and skinny legs.  I decided to hire a trainer. His name was Alex.  I told him my story, and he said to me, ' You are not 21. You are 36. And there are factors in your life that you didn't have when you were young that can affect you physically. Some of those factors are stress related.' 

In my research regarding fitness, I came across an advertisement that asked  - Do YOU want to look like a fitness competitor/model - And immediately thought HELL YEAH!   This brought me to another personal trainer named Jennifer.  Her program alongside Alex's guidance at the gym triggered the necessary changes in my body.  Nutrition was a huge part of the program, and believe it or not, getting plenty of rest.  Jennifer then planted the competition seed. ' You are training so hard, so why not compete?'  I was so excited that she actually thought that I could compete and at the moment I believed I could too,...and then I got into my head.  I didn't think I was pretty enough.  I didn't believe my body would ever look like the girls on stage and that BIKINI! It's way too small. There's no way I'm wearing that.  I prepped for roughly four months for a show in April of 2013, and then I chickened out.  The thought of getting on that stage freaked me out! ' I am going to FAIL! I am going to look stupid.  It's not gonna happen'

That summer, I lost Alex to a massive heart attack.  I knew him for about a year and a half so he was not only my trainer. He was my big brother, and a good friend.  Competing came back into my head. One thing he always told me was that I needed to remain consistent.  Stop putting in the work, and then just give up.  Then, a couple of months later, I lost my job. These events kicked the 'thought' of competing into 'action'.  It was time to face my fears.  I had to do this, for me. For other women like me who feel like they are too old, or don't have time, or can't juggle that lifestyle and a family.  For the mothers who are tired of their ever changing bodies and want to FEEL SEXY again!  I reached out to Malenna, and she responded right away. I went to a workshop and was blown away by the warmness of The Elite Heat, the fitness team.  Right then and there, my journey began.  It's been an amazing journey. The physical aspect was pretty easy. I was able to stick to the diet and fitness program.  The emotional and mental part was my challenge.  Everyday, I worked through so many of my insecurities, and built up my confidence.  And now, I could and would probably walk the streets of NYC with a bikini and heels in a heartbeat! 

All that being said, that was not even the best part of this journey.  The best part to me was meeting so many amazing women and the support they have provided me throughout. I cannot wait to hit the stage!!!

In loving memory of Alex Hillian

1970 - 2013