WBFF Diva Bikini Competitor Suehade

If I had to do it over....

The question I get asked the most is " Why are you doing this?".  My answer is always the same.  I do it for the gains, both physically and mentally.  I've always enjoyed working out.  I love the science behind it. The strength aspect of bodybuilding, seeing progress (even if it is slow, little progress) and working towards a goal.  I am the queen of anxiety, and lifting became my stress reliever and somewhat therapeutic for me.  The time I spend at the gym is my 'me time'.

I decided to compete after my sister convinced/begged me to. I took the opportunity to help me get to where I wanted to be physically but what I got out of it was so much more. You will be surprised how much you learn about yourself when the pressure is on.  You'll tell yourself a million reasons to quit but hold on to that one reason not to. It has helped me build character and discipline.  It has made me a little more fearless and carefree.

It took me a whole year before saying yes to competing because I feared failure, rejection and criticism.  I feared everything and often did not try new things. Now, I look back at things and say, 'Why didn't I go for it?'  'Why was I so scared?'  ' Who cares what people think?'  If it makes me happy, why not???  In this particular case, my complaining about food and soreness may make it seem like I am not happy, but I really am enjoying myself. :D

I am going on my third show, and every prep is a different experience.  I don' t remember much about what I did on stage, but I do remember the journey. I remember Clare, Josie, and I dancing backstage waiting on the ok to eat carbs. I remember Jasmine and I standing side by side throughout the competition cheering each other on.  For this show, my goal is to bring a better version of me. Not matter the outcome, I know I busted my ass and I know how far Ive come. In reality, it's me vs me.

This show has also been special to me because now I will be sharing the stage with 8 beautiful women from my team. We started the journey together and I've witnessed their growth, hard work and dedication.  I can't wait to see us strut our stuff. In the words of Marj, 'we cute'.

I thank everyone who has put up with me during prep.  My amazing coach and teammates whom inspire me everyday.  I thank you.  To my support crew, Azzie, Arianda and Mayra, I appreciate you guys and wouldn't be able to do this without you there.  But a huge special, on my knees, kiss the floor thank you goes to my Mom.  She has been recovering from her second spinal surgery but has gone above and beyond for me, prepping my meals, hunting down my dress and coming along with me whenever I needed a hand.  Best Mom EVER!

I'm not saving the world here, but it's nice to know you're surrounded by awesome people who will support you in whatever mess you decide to get into.  Some people may not full understand the why, but that's ok. They don't have to.  This lifestyle is not an easy one. It doesn't make me special nor does it make me better than anyone, but it's the one I chose.  It's the one that has made me healthier both physically and mentally.  On that note, I am so read to do this.

I still get nervous, but that's part of the fun....